Old men sitting on a bench joke

Old men sitting on a bench joke

A park bench can be a magical place. It’s where the world passes by at its own pace, and where a couple of old friends can share a laugh, swap some tall tales, or simply sit in silence, letting life happen around them.

For two older gentlemen on this particular day, it was the perfect spot for doing absolutely nothing — and doing it well. These two weren’t out to break a sweat or keep up with the news; they had earned the right to just sit back and enjoy the show.

The world kept spinning, kids kept playing, and dogs chased after balls with boundless enthusiasm. It was the kind of day where even the smallest things seemed to carry a little bit of humor — like the sight of a young woman in jogging shorts and a sports bra.

Here’s the story:

Two old men are sitting on a bench in the park.

A young, attractive girl runs by in a sports bra and shorts. One of the men smiles, and the girl comes over, asking, “Why are you grinning at me, you creep?”

The old man replies kindly, “I’m not smiling at you, I’m smiling because no matter how tough life gets, seeing pretty young girls in summer always makes an old man feel better.”

The girl, touched, kisses him on the cheek and jogs away.

The old man then turns to his friend and says, “3-0”, your turn.

BONUS FUNNY STORY

This story (fictional) is about a salesman from Montana. At first, I felt sorry for the guy — but when I got to the end, I couldn‘t stop laughing! Such a clever response! The best thing I have read in a long time!

Michael, a young guy from a small town in Montana, moved to New York. He entered a large department store, looking for a job.

He got an interview with the boss, who asked:

“Do you have any sales experience?”

“Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in Montana”, answered the young fella.

Boss yells at Michael 1
Picture: Unbounce

The boss was unsure, but he liked Michael — and decided to give him a chance.

“You start tomorrow at 8.00. I’ll come down from the office after we close and see how you did”, he said.

Michael’s first day on the job was tough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor and gathered all the employees.

“How many customers bought something from you today?”, asked the chief.

Michael frowned and looking at the floor muttered: “One”.

“Get it together!”

The boss shouted:

“Just one?! Our sales staff average 20 to 30 customers a day. This has to improve! And soon if you’d like to continue working here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in the big apple. One sale a day might have been acceptable in Montana, but you’re not in the countryside any more, son. Get it together, or get out!”

The young man listened to the manager’s complaint but continued to stare straight into the floor. The boss felt bad for chewing him out on his first day, so he asked:

“Okay, how much was your one sale for?”

Boss yells at Michael 2
Picture: Flickr

Michael looked up and answered:

“$124,088.30”

The boss, astonished, said:

“$124,088.30?! What the heck did you sell?!

The young man explained:

“Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. After that, I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, we went down to the boat department and I sold him the new twin-engine model we have. Then he said he didn’t think his little car would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him a 4×4 Dodge truck.”

The boss’ jaw dropped, after a minute of silence he asked:

“So a guy came to buy fish hooks — and you sold him a boat and a new Truck?!

Michael replied:

“Not really. To be honest, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his girlfriend. But then I said, ‘Dude, your weekend’s shot, you should go fishing’.

The following day, Michael was promoted …

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